Last weekend when people busy with their own things, and like there was nothing to do and all I did is just rolling and rolling and rolling on my bed and don't know why that "thought" came suddenly so I went to Petra and looked at the mbak-mbak who was making this kind of bag and you know, that kind of "WAAWW that's so good, I hope I can make it too"

First time I went to Petra after it move out from the old place. So the first thing done to me is told by a mbak-mbak, said that Petra has moved out.

Well, yeah you know that making this kind of thing is not easy for me actually. I was crying, assumed that mbak-mbak taught me unpleasantly :(  But I think I was wrong because after she teaching me for not until an hour, I can make my own design in my head, make the pattern, and do the tips and trick.

By the way, this is my first handmade bag..

Front view

Side view

My mom said that it is too small and too old :(

By the way, there are a few things displayed on my room recently. Start from number 1.

1. Kania's present for my 19th birthday

 2.Self potrait

 3. Denis's painting of me for my 18th birthday. Actually me more beauty than that

I think that's all for today.

Love,

Sari

"If you are going to fall in love with me, it's only fair that you know what you are falling in love with.

You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and my dreams, and how I'm hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me.

But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I'm with you, the way I'll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have great day. You're falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible."

Congratulation Megan Young for being Miss World 2013. This post is addressed for her who just win Miss World and have the right to wear the honor crown.

No no, I don't recognize here actually and she was not on my attention. My respect goes to her because of the Greatness of God that awarded to her and can be the reflection for others to keep struggling for whatever you struggled because you know, the Miss Philippines have experienced this kind of thing.

You know what? Young was disqualified from Binibining contest (who is the winner would represent Philippines on Miss Universe) because of her topless photo that was shot when she was a model. The people thought that being the symbol of woman is not only in beauty but in norm, prestige, and other kind of things that they thought she was not appropriate for.

But in the reality, she joined Miss Philippines and won, and represented Philippines for Miss World and now you look? She won it! She is the Miss World 2013.

Nobody knows God's plan. Nobody knew that time that God was not let her to join Binibining contest because God would give her much better than that. In God's plan, nothing is impossible. We just have to keep patient and do what we have to do, and God will give the best.

Ya, be patient for something better coming up.

Sometimes, in the middle of the daily thoughts, or daydreams, or whatever you call it, you gonna see a reflection of all-the-things-you-have-done today, yesterday, or the time that you forget.

Maybe I'm not the one who can express anything about something, about me, about someone, or about everything. But I feel like there's something I've to thank for.

This feeling of balance. After all the things I busy, angry, or take with. But whatever it is, I blessed to feel this free.

Here sort of things I did with these guys..

1. Being Siswanto's prewed model with Rizki

2. Longing for Kania's photoshoot and chilling with these bitches

Beauty, no?

Twinnies

Denis terlihat tampan

3. Going to Prambanan temple, for free of course

Kutul sok ganteng

4. Sipil B menangin futsal cewe angkatan! So proud of these girls

 Photo's taken from Vina's blog

Numpang bangga

Share yours!

Sari

So now I will tell you about my 19th birthday.

Pagi sampe sore kerjaan cuma balesin BBM, mention di twitter atau wall di FB aja saking ga ada kerjaannya. Nothing special lah, paling cuma berburu nyamuk pake raket aja. Sampe pas sore Alfi nelfon buat ngucapin ulang tahun, dan aku cuma bisa nangis doang sodara-sodara. Iya, nangis. Soalnya temen SMA aku yang ngucapin baru dia selain Kania ama Kutul.

Pas di telfon aku cuma bilang, "Yang lain pada ga inget ulang taunku, Denis belom ngucapin"

Trus aku baca SMS di hape mamaku. Ternyata awalnya mamaku ngundang temen-temen SMA aku buat dateng dan makan, selain nyuruh mereka bawa tepung buat ngguyur aku, tapi intinya Boma cuma bilang "Maaf ya tante, hari ini aku pulang sore, Kania juga masih rapat. Jadi kayanya surprisenya ditunda aja."

Skip skip..

Trus kan aku baca sms-nya itu, trus aku sedih deh, cuma nerusin aja berburu nyamuk. Trus ngajak mamaku makan aja sendiri. Yaudah deh terus aku makan berdua doang sama mamaku. Nah pas pulang aku nemu surat ginian.. Trus mereka tandatangin ber-10. Ada kuenya juga bentuknya anak cewe gitu. Nah di antara tandatangan di suratnya itu aku apal punya Ina, Kutul, Kania, sama Boma (tulisannya doang). Yang lain ga apal..

Singkat cerita aku nelfon Ina. Dan percakapan kira-kira berlangsung seperti ini:

S : "Na, tadi kamu kesini?"

I : "Iya, gimana sih kamunya malah pergi"

S : "Lha kamu kan bisa nelfon atau sms aku"

I : "Ya kitanya kan mau kasih surprise, masak ngasih tau"

S : "Ya akunya kan ga ada, kalo akunya ga ada namanya bukan surprise lagi lah" (mulai emosi)

I : "Yaudah *********" (Mulai ga fokus, aku mulai denger suaranya Boma sama Kania)

S : "Yaudah sekarang kalian dimana?"

I : "Udah pada misah nih udah pada pulang"

Merasa ga dapat jawaban yang diinginkan, aku nelfon Kania. Kira-kira percakapan berlangsung seperti itu

Trus aku menghabiskan waktu dengan menonton pesta pernikahannya Atiqah Hasiholan sama Rio Dewanto, sampe tiba-tiba rumahku listriknya njeglek secara ga wajar. Part yang paling ga wajar adalah adekku minta tolong nyalain lampunya dengan baik-baik, biasanya nyolot.

Pas keluar kamar, eh ternyata udah ada mereka bawa lilin.

Ini bukan gembeng sodara2, aku emang rapuh bgt sama yg hal2 ginian

Niupin lilin sampe kempor

Trus lampunya nyala dan mereka pamit pulang.

Nah pas nganterin mereka pulang terjadilah hal semacam ini..

Sehingga aku menjadi seperti ini..

                   

Cantik

                    

Yaudin deh terus eyke mencoba balas dendam tapi tak terbalas trus eyke mandi dan potong kue..

Trus selanjutnya makan dan nongki-nongki sampe jam setengah 1 malem.

Gitu deh cerita aku dengan teman-teman yang super gitu deh, aku gamau serakah meminta sesuatu karna Tuhan sangat baik memberikan kalian kepadaku.

Terima kasih Tuhan, karena mereka membuat hidupku lebih lebih lebih berwarna..

 

With love,


Sari

This post belongs to Savina, who is motivate me to write again J

I’m back! After a very very loooong time ignoring this blog without any guilty feeling at all (mihihi :3). Who said “I feel so I write” and actuating writing as one-kind-of-things-of-a-self-reflection? Actually I was not forgetting writing stuffs itself, I just forgot how to write, how to start a sentence, how to motivate others to read some letters of mine without forgetting pujian-pujian yang orang kasih buat tulisan aku, followers twitter aku yang kemudian follow aku (beberapa orang sirik bilang aku pake following engine), and other things that I got by writing.

Things happened, some just gone by, and some leave pains (I don’t wanna called these as a fucking matters anymore, they’re just a lesson).  And this time I will tell you about one-of-a-million girls (actually not a) problem: love stuffs.

The relationship (that was meant to be ended, soon or later) was finally ended. Some people who feels like they’re-very-very-know-the-problem-even-they’re-not start assuming this and that (this is the worse part). Some asked “Bored matters?” and the other said “Kamu mungkin terlalu keras” and some some and some other assumptions.

Tanpa bermaksud untuk menjelek-jelekkan dia di blog ini, mungkin dia emang bukan seseorang yang dikirim Tuhan untuk membahagiakan aku lagi. Somebody will, but the only thing I have to do is keep my patience for waiting, because right person will come in a right time.

Maybe it’s easy for me to change those-kind-of-feeling back to be a friend-- like we did before—cause I knew that kinda relationship soon or later will be to an end. Papaku yang pada saat itu udah punya aku dan adekku yang bisa menjadi simbol keterikatan sama mamaku aja masih bisa ninggalin mamaku buat nikah sama orang lain, apalagi aku sama dia, yang belum terikat apa-apa dan ga ada simbol apa-apa.

"Aku memang ga meneteskan setetespun air mata karena putus sama dia, bahkan sampe sekarang aku masih belum tau cinta itu apa dan seperti apa. Aku mungkin ga bisa sayang sama dia sama kaya sayangnya dia ke aku dulu. Entahlah, entah karena aku memang ga merasakan kasih sayang ayah dari kecil sampe efek seperti ini ada ke aku, atau emang aku yang terlalu apatis. Tapi setidaknya, karena hal ini dan hal itu, aku jadi punya pandangan tentang bagaimana sosok laki-laki yang pas buat jadi pendampingku besok, dan bagaimana aku harus menjadi seseorang yang pantas buat mendampinginya, tanpa orang tuanya terlalu mempermasalahkan dengan latar belakang keluargaku yang broken home, keadaan ekonomi keluargaku, dan berbagai hal lain. Dia dan keluarganya mencintai aku karna aku, bukan karena sesuatu yang memang tidak sepatutnya untuk dipermasalahkan, like he and his family did."

Ok, that's enough for today. Hope you enjoy and read this again another time :))


Love,

Sari

Happy bday Denis..

Heran deh kenapa ini fotonya pada ke rotate semua ya?